Peep Show 06x05 The Party

- Hey, Mark! - Hi, Dobs.
I just happened to be passing and I remember you were saying that if I happened to be passing Two buses here, three buses home - five convenient buses.
Great to see you, you big freak! Cool place.
Wonder who's tried to jump her.
He'll have had a pop.
I'm just temping, but it's fun.
Look, I couldn't help noticing that there's a Cineworld on the high street - Oh, yeah? and I've got all these credits left on my Mega-pass, and I'm not up to much, so Shit.
I'm going out tonight for a big one with the guys.
I'm a guyl lt'd be great to do a mega gulp and movie soon, though.
I'd hate us to stop being friends.
Yeah friends.
Yeah, we're friends, right? Like, if I was having a party, I'd invite you, and if you were having a party, you'd invite me.
- Well, yeah.
- Exactly.
- Dobby - Yeah? - I'm having a party.
- What? Yeah, that's the other thing I came tell you, actually, that I'm having a party.
Would you like to come? - Um yeah.
- Trapped in a web of her own makingl Oh, God.
I can't believe I'm having a party.
I am so proud of you.
There was everyone thinking you were just this fusty, sweater-wearing, spirit-crushing, no-fly zone with a ten-foot carrot up his arse.
Yeah, obviously it is only a tactical party.
I'm only having a party in order to eventually get sex.
This is the only reason anyone in recorded history has had a party, Mark.
Plus, it's great for me - perfect way to see Elena! - You haven't given up on Elena? - Nah.
She's just playing it cool.
And I just need to do the same.
It's Snoopy in shades versus the Fonz in a fridge.
Hi, it's Elena.
Please leave a message.
Oh, hi, Elena.
Yeah, Jez here.
Just to say, you know, me and Mark are partying hard this Saturday.
I've invited everyone else and then I thought of you.
So there's going to be some cats from the music biz, a few cats from film and new media.
You know, a whole crowd of cool cats and crazy chicks.
Chicks with dicks, chicks without dicks, guys with dicks.
Maybe see you up here, maybe not.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Oh, great.
Oh, shit.
What is it? Creamy Elephant repayments? It's from Sophie's father.
His solicitor.
Arrangements for child maintenance, visitation Oh, God.
Wow.
That's pretty real.
I don't want to stickle or negotiate.
Wouldn't feel right.
Yeah, just sign that shit up.
That's what I'd say.
Sign and recline - that's my motto.
Yeah.
Am I really going to take his advice? The finest legal mind of his generation?

 

 

Only three hours to go.
Three lasagnes to nail.
Need another? Chicken lasagne? I've seen it on menus, but only at those pretend pubs at the airport.
Hey, man! - What the hell are you doing? - I'm gaffer-taping bin bags to the floor.
Right.
Why? To protect the carpet from all the various fluids.
But it looks like a crack den.
I know! Why the hell have you bought so much food? Because I'm making four different kinds of lasagne.
Nobody cares about the food at parties, Mark.
They just want to get pissed and go ape.
"Go ape"? I don't want people "going ape", Jeremy.
Because there's a missing word, isn't there? Ape shit.
Anyway, I haven't got time for this.
I need you to start assembling an enormous salad.
Salad?! Oh, "Did you have a good time at the party?" "Yeah, well, I got pissed and stoned "and this girl took her top off and danced on the sofa like in Trading Places, "but there was no baby leaf salad, so overall, big disappointment.
" Nobody is dancing on the Creamy Elephant.
I'll do the salad in a minute.
Right now I'm setting up puke points.
Puke points?! There are seven puke points.
The toilet is puke point HQ, obviously.
And then I've gone round emptying the bins and distributing bags as secondary puke points.
Oh, God.
This could be a disaster.
I want a night of edgy banter and tipsy indiscretions.
He wants us all lying around in our pants, flinging shit at each other.
MARK: Ugh, Sophie.
Not again.
I'm not having a baby - I'm having a partyl So what do you reckon? How many buttons? Cos, like, one is old-school, Blair on holiday.
Two is the new one.
So I was thinking maybe three, but then if I'm doing three, maybe four? I'm thinking of doing a reserve chicken.
What do you think? Five lasagnes, Mark? Lasagnes can't save you.
You are still going to have to talk to people, you know.
- (DOORBELL RINGS) - What if it's Dobby? Don't snaffle any of the mozzarella.
My ratios are right on the edge.
Gerard.

That is not the whole script, just from the first to somewhere.. haha
:)